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Glove Slap '09

Bound Pantoum
a pantoum

captured I stand bound by desire
with these ties of duty and need
for selfish gifts of love and greed
to slake this lust with blood and fire

with these ties of duty and need
stronger than twisted strands of wire
or this lust of blood and fire
I wait in this garden of briar and weed

stronger than twisted strands of wire
the barbs dig in deep and I bleed
and wait in this garden of briar and weed
for the sting to come as I perspire

the barbs dig in deep and I bleed
caught tight and bound by desire
the sting comes bitter as I perspire
in selfish gifts of love and greed



Kinbaku
a curtal sonnet

Her arms pulled fast with silken knots
.....Behind her back, and there held firm.
..........A lazy eight around her breasts
And back. Slim thighs enforced to squat
.....And spread and shiver—even squirm.
..........A loop through lips cuts off protests,
If there were some. Without complaint
.....And pliable as hemp, she yearns
..........As much as I for this, the crests
Of pleasures bound unto restraint:
...............Caressed.
 
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Judges!

Read the two poems and decide, in your opinion, which of the two poems better responds to the theme; which of the poems better incorporates the form chosen with the theme; and which of the poems is a better poem overall. The poem that you consider being better in at least two of those three criteria will be your pick to win. PM me your choice and the reasons for it, hopefully within 24 hours.
 
CharleyH said:
Judges!

Read the two poems and decide, in your opinion, which of the two poems better responds to the theme; which of the poems better incorporates the form chosen with the theme; and which of the poems is a better poem overall. The poem that you consider being better in at least two of those three criteria will be your pick to win. PM me your choice and the reasons for it, hopefully within 24 hours.
Click to expand...

The poets gave reasons for form matching theme, right? Could you post those for us to view here too? I liked the last four lines of the second poem the best. Simply.
 
Epmd607 said:
The poets gave reasons for form matching theme, right? Could you post those for us to view here too? I liked the last four lines of the second poem the best. Simply.
Click to expand...
LOL.... Those of us who had time may have given reasons for the choice.
 
Just got here, and am considerin'. I could go either way on the poets explaining their choice of forms. That may be too much opportunity to slant through explication.

*trying to be really harsh, but swooning madly*
 
unpredictablebijou said:
Just got here, and am considerin'. I could go either way on the poets explaining their choice of forms. That may be too much opportunity to slant through explication.

*trying to be really harsh, but swooning madly*
Click to expand...
Don't swoon. PM your answers to me and I will gladly make you anonymous.
 
Epmd607 said:
The poets gave reasons for form matching theme, right? Could you post those for us to view here too? I liked the last four lines of the second poem the best. Simply.
Click to expand...
One of them did, the other didn't. If the one that didn't decides to PM me with the reasoning, I will post both reasons. Or we can wait until after the judges are done so that they don't get confused. :D
 
Both poems are excellent, much as I suspected they would be considering the duelists. I know neither of them cares who wins...:rolleyes: ... as for why they chose the forms they did...that, IMHO is TMI at this point.

Brava ! to both of you, Champers and TeeZed....and good luck judges in choosing a winner. Better you than I.
 
Perhaps you two can secretly collaborate. heh.

As for me, I'm indulging gleefully in my perpetual Ivy League Lit Professor fantasy. "Today, class, we're going to take a close look at two different poems on the same topic. As we explicate these pieces for style and technique we will see how a truly skilled poet uses numerous subtle tactics for communicating an experience in layers of sound and implication that lie underneath the words themselves."

*rummages for pantyhose and a conservative navy blue skirt*
 
UnderYourSpell said:
you would probably have been better than I!!
Click to expand...

Not true! You will do great. Just enjoy the poetry, and say what you feel. That's what i've done.....( of course, i took a 1 year sabbatical from lit afterward..heh heh..just kidding.
 
champagne1982 said:
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b395/champagne1982/worthless_thread_wo_pics.gif

and you know the smiley guys are right...
Click to expand...

Yeah, um, see, that's what the internet is for.

Cause I don't own either of those things. If I had to dress like a Lit professor, I'd be rather lost. Unless I'm teaching at one of those Free Hippie University-without-Walls things like they had in the sixties. Then I suspect the saris would work just fine.

jesus, my review is already more than two pages. It's a good thing I'm not having to do my actual job much today...

Anyone want to bribe me with anything?
 
unpredictablebijou said:
Perhaps you two can secretly collaborate. heh.

As for me, I'm indulging gleefully in my perpetual Ivy League Lit Professor fantasy. "Today, class, we're going to take a close look at two different poems on the same topic. As we explicate these pieces for style and technique we will see how a truly skilled poet uses numerous subtle tactics for communicating an experience in layers of sound and implication that lie underneath the words themselves."

*rummages for pantyhose and a conservative navy blue skirt*
Click to expand...

Is that all? oh la la
 
unpredictablebijou said:
Perhaps you two can secretly collaborate. heh.

As for me, I'm indulging gleefully in my perpetual Ivy League Lit Professor fantasy. "Today, class, we're going to take a close look at two different poems on the same topic. As we explicate these pieces for style and technique we will see how a truly skilled poet uses numerous subtle tactics for communicating an experience in layers of sound and implication that lie underneath the words themselves."

*rummages for pantyhose and a conservative navy blue skirt*
Click to expand...
Ooh. The Cambridge Conservative look--Brooks Brothers on the outside, heavy petting anthropological rituals on the inside.

I may faint from the sudden loss of blood pressure in that part of me that thinks.
 
Tzara said:
Physics was my favorite class, you know. I just never understood why.
Click to expand...

Well, it is where we learn about the effect of bodies in motion upon bodies at rest, and that sort of thing. My own studies in the areas of mass, energy and speed have been very rewarding.


eta: my decision has been submitted in PM and I must skate rather early tonight. I may be able to check in very very late; otherwise I'll see you poets tomorrow.

and by the way, they were both just stunning pieces.

*still swooning*
 
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