Meeting People? - Help the new guy out

Caution Words:

As you can see I am new to all this so be kind if this post it out of place. Here is the deal, I have recently broken up with my girlfriend of four years for various reasons. One being she is unable to handle my sexual needs. What can I say I like a interesting love life. I know meeting girls will not be a problem but how exactly do I go about meeting girls with similar interests to mine? I just graduated from college and have absolutely no experience when it comes to bdsm in the dating scene so any advice or resources anyone could provide would be wonderful. Thanks in advance for any help anyone can provide!

SpiceIsNice said:

Caution Words:

As you can see I am new to all this so be kind if this post it out of place. Here is the deal, I have recently broken up with my girlfriend of four years for various reasons. One being she is unable to handle my sexual needs. What can I say I like a interesting love life. I know meeting girls will not be a problem but how exactly do I go about meeting girls with similar interests to mine? I just graduated from college and have absolutely no experience when it comes to bdsm in the dating scene so any advice or resources anyone could provide would be wonderful. Thanks in advance for any help anyone can provide!

Click to expand...

Some people simply look for open minded compatible partners - like any other relationship - and work things out from there. Dating is dating, really...

Depending on where you live, you might be able to find a local BDSM organization that holds monthly "munches" - dinner at a normal restaurant/no overt BDSM/kink-friendly people. Some groups also have monthly meetings, lecture series, etc.

In line with what Cutie wrote (*waves HI to the lovely Ms. Mouse*):

To find local Munches, email groups, and events in your area, try:

SceneUSA - http://www.darkheart.com/sceneusa.html

Caryl's Page - http://www.drkdesyre.com/

The BDSM Events Page - http://www.thebdsmeventspage.com/ which has links to both organizations AND events.

SirPaul's National Munch Page - http://phoenixdragon.dreamknight87.com/nmp.htm

Hope that helps!

If you are after BDSM as in the sex, just ask if they like kinky stuff in the bedroom.

If you are after a BDSM style relationship, just find someone who feels like they have whatever role you want in them. That will probably take a bit of dating before you see it. No projecting

Personally I have more luck just with random people I meet then through the community. But then I am not included in the communities age group, depending on your location you may encounter the same.

There are also sites like alt.com and collarme.com and informedconsent.com where you can post a profile and seek out like minded women in your area. Sites like fetlife.com and mydungeonspace.com function more like myspace and allow for networking.

I am personally against finding someone on bdsm type sites. I know it can work but I would say most of the time it doesn't work out well. Of course the same can be said for any dating scene. I personally think there are a lot of kinky women out there who are wanting to "come out" and don't know how. They are probably afraid of finding someone on bdsm personals sites. I think to some extent most everyone is kinky. What I am trying to say is that you should just date women and communicate and you will find what you are looking for. Convince them you are a good guy but that you are a little kinky and your last girlfriend just wasn't kinky enough for you. You are either a dickhead or just one of the many guys out there in a similar boat. Some girls might run for cover when you tell them your last girlfriend wasn't kinky enough (don't tell them on the first few dates). My guess is that many of them will get a little wet between the legs and ask, "what do you mean by kinky"?

Wow thanks for all the advice. I guess I was just a little worried adding bdsm to the bedroom was just very uncommon. I just can't see it mixing well with the dating scene, guess its been too long since I actually dated. I plan to jump back into dating, it just took my girlfriend and I years before anything like that came up so I guess I will just have to be a little more open in the beginning this time around. Thank you for all the help and ill talk to yall soon.

SpiceIsNice said:

Wow thanks for all the advice. I guess I was just a little worried adding bdsm to the bedroom was just very uncommon. I just can't see it mixing well with the dating scene, guess its been too long since I actually dated. I plan to jump back into dating, it just took my girlfriend and I years before anything like that came up so I guess I will just have to be a little more open in the beginning this time around. Thank you for all the help and ill talk to yall soon.

Click to expand...

That kind of depends on how you [personally] define BDSM in the bedroom... I mean, I can understand how you'd be a bit hesitant to start chit chatting about a St. Andrew's Cross on the third date, but it is possible to have subtle conversations about the dance of power/pay attention to body language/work D/s into conversations to the point that the groundwork is laid to have a more serious talk a month or three down the road...

My bdsm tastes are pretty light, nothing to intense. So I don't think it will be too difficult find a girl who is interested in these types of things. One thing I am curious about though it I like to switch. I like to be on bottom sometimes others on top. I havn't seem many people talk about this. Is that common at all?

yes. I like to switch.