Talk 2 Stegral

*K* showed last night !!!!!
Finally got another tree done on my back
Felt so fucking good to feel His hands on me again.
The toys made me fly... such a wonderful feeling
The wait of the last few months has been almost painful, but I think He does it so when we DO get together I fly...
All I know is I was still walking on air even after what felt like an eternity of aftercare to me. He must have realized how play affected me this time because usually I just get dressed & we head out to socalize...
We had the door open to the play room we were in (I usually close it but didn't on purpose last night), left my jeans on but removed from the waist up, put my earplugs in, took the glasses off & presented my back as a canvas for Him to draw on. About 3/4 of the way thru He shut the door quietly because He heard a new voice enter & wasn't sure if I would be ok with them being able to see me, rather than asking in scene & dropping me (or realizing I wouldn't answer in that headspace properly).. I don't know if He actually gets anything from it but appreciate that He does it for me to enjoy.
It has been 10 months that I have been off my perscription medication.
I have fewer mood swings now, high/lows are fewer plus alot more controllable & I am actually rebuilding my self esteem in agonizingly small steps since realizing why the inner/hidden me was killing me to come out instead of it being caged up.
The only time I have moods are when something is very, very wrong...
All I need to do though is call or IM a friend & we work it out...

2 years ago the previous post would have had me in such a tail spin I would have been suicidal...
Today I can shake it off & learn from it with minimal discomfort...

Thank you to all that have helped me on my path, both online & RL

Stegral said:

*K* showed last night !!!!!

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That's GREAT Steg! I'm glad you had a good time ... sounds wonderful.

Stegral said:

It has been 10 months that I have been off my perscription medication.
I have fewer mood swings now, high/lows are fewer plus alot more controllable & I am actually rebuilding my self esteem in agonizingly small steps since realizing why the inner/hidden me was killing me to come out instead of it being caged up.
The only time I have moods are when something is very, very wrong...
All I need to do though is call or IM a friend & we work it out...

2 years ago the previous post would have had me in such a tail spin I would have been suicidal...
Today I can shake it off & learn from it with minimal discomfort...

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Congratulations. This is a HUGE step in the best direction. {{{{{{{Steg}}}}}}}

I've been away from Lit for a bit but am glad to see you're doing well.

Gypsybyrd said:

That's GREAT Steg! I'm glad you had a good time ... sounds wonderful.



Congratulations. This is a HUGE step in the best direction. {{{{{{{Steg}}}}}}}

I've been away from Lit for a bit but am glad to see you're doing well.

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glad to see ya back

((((Gypsy))))

hope all is ok????

lets see if the pic I got back will fit
(smaller than normal, but he didn't want to hit the tattoo....)

Stegral said:

Rambling on another thread with someone totally off thread topic I decided to start this one

Wanna talk to me?? please keep it nice... this isn't for B/S... it is to keep the clutter off the other threads...

Leeroy... I believe we were discussing driving?

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Sure I am always ready to talk. What do you want to talk about?

that looks cool, Steg.

Left_Nut said:

Sure I am always ready to talk. What do you want to talk about?

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whatever you want

Azuldrgon said:

that looks cool, Steg.

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the tatt or the marks ??? LMAOO

thanks sweetie

Stegral said:

glad to see ya back

((((Gypsy))))

hope all is ok????

lets see if the pic I got back will fit
(smaller than normal, but he didn't want to hit the tattoo....)

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Hey Steg - all is as well as it can be.

I like the pic! Makes me wonder what it feels like.

Gypsybyrd said:

Hey Steg - all is as well as it can be.

I like the pic! Makes me wonder what it feels like.

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{{{{Gypsy}}}} well hopefully it gets better than it could be...

the marks felt wicked... the place we "play" is privately owned & there is a "no sex" rule in place...
It's too bad because the rush it gives is like really awesome foreplay...
think nails on the back (or anywhereon the body) during sex...
now pinpoint it & direct it... *shivers*
He has learned the spots to make me go up on my toes, move toward him or away, how to make the goosebumps come up in force & where to draw on my backside to make me wet... The rush is something I can't explain fully & never understood it personally until I felt it... We have been "expanding" the play toys slowly over about 18 months... I was brand new to BDSM when we met & He was very patient with my questions & limits... He continues to help me learn to remove the social conditioning that pleasure is bad & reset my limits... He enjoys watching me squirm & I enjoy the feeling to make me squirm... I just need to find a kinky B/F that He can teach...lol

Stegral said:

{{{{Gypsy}}}} well hopefully it gets better than it could be...

the marks felt wicked... the place we "play" is privately owned & there is a "no sex" rule in place...
It's too bad because the rush it gives is like really awesome foreplay...
think nails on the back (or anywhereon the body) during sex...
now pinpoint it & direct it... *shivers*
He has learned the spots to make me go up on my toes, move toward him or away, how to make the goosebumps come up in force & where to draw on my backside to make me wet... The rush is something I can't explain fully & never understood it personally until I felt it... We have been "expanding" the play toys slowly over about 18 months... I was brand new to BDSM when we met & He was very patient with my questions & limits... He continues to help me learn to remove the social conditioning that pleasure is bad & reset my limits... He enjoys watching me squirm & I enjoy the feeling to make me squirm... I just need to find a kinky B/F that He can teach...lol

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That's awesome Steg - I'm glad for you. It's good that he's patient and helping you reset yourself.

Thank you for the description.

Mind if I ask what toys you've expanded to playing with? I'm just being nosy ... I live vicariously through other people these days. lol Feel free to not share ... like I said - nosy.

Gypsybyrd said:

That's awesome Steg - I'm glad for you. It's good that he's patient and helping you reset yourself.

Thank you for the description.

Mind if I ask what toys you've expanded to playing with? I'm just being nosy ... I live vicariously through other people these days. lol Feel free to not share ... like I said - nosy.

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toys we play with....
1) a pair or "medical pinwheels" or wartenburg wheels... (think spurs on a handle)
2) A wire cat hair brush (odd I know but feels really good across the shoulders)
3) Baby bottle brush (again odd but feels good as it rolls)
4) Vampire mitten (think a furry car wash mitten with small spikes on one side)
5) A lockblade knife (never draws blood but raises some nice welts/lines )
6) earplugs & blindfold (hightens sense of touch with sight & sound gone)
7) homemade "fingerspikes" (they attach to you fingers like long metal fingernails)
8) feathers attached to a dowel (light sensory play)
9) pieces of fur

He uses any of these during play....
1,2,4 & 5 are used every time we play, the others are just added bonuses

Now that he has a G/F that allows him to play still, he doesn't get too intimate, which is a shame...

Live away Gypsy
you are not the only one that likes to read my play time stories...

GGGRRRRRRRR

a simple fucking request....

first flaming post

the reply

final post

come on... 500THREADS in 5 months...
does she not grasp putting everything together??

*scampers in to see if anyone is here*

~~Wanders back out to write my B-Day scene for next weekend~~

ah well...my b-day waxing was not meant to be.
The Dom in charge had emerg surgery on wednesday
He had to have His appendix removed & is recovering well
I will prob live it in the dungeon thread I "play" in.
I did get to borrow a friends boots for the scene with him...

fruking HAWT boots
(attached is the colour version, cropped down...)

they were a bit hard to walk in at first but I sooo want a pair now...
they have a very "chunky" heel which is great for me as I have a hard time in "regular" heels..

MMmmmm
I did something last night I probably shouldn't have...
I invited a single fella I really like from work out dancing with my G/F's...
I didn't know he doesn't dance but likes to watch...
I know my G/F & I had fun, we love to dance.
He seemed to enjoy our company & the band. (he plays strings)

I am sure he will never look at me the same again at work ever again...
hopefully I stirred something in him for me
(I have vocalized my dislike for facial hair & guess what... he showed up clean shaven)
the few smirnoff I had took off the edge & I prob said some things I shouldn't have... but nothing regrettable... he had a few as well. He smelled so damn good... just a perfect enough amount of something but not overpowering... I am scent sensitive & have "spoken out" when someone marinated in something at work...
The what if's are running in my head now...
What if you looked foolish & he was just being nice?
what if he really DID like to watch?
what if the way you danced was sexual to him?
what if what he saw made him want you more?
what if you didn't drop him off, but took him home ?????
*last one is a doozy* I don't do casual very well....
& when/if I do it bites me in the ass... nasty kind of way... not nice..
He meets MOST of my standards...
Employed, well kept, hair is shoulder length & will grow it , shy, likes affection, in shape, intrerested in my pets, has his own place & car...
only things I am not sure of is his loyalty & kinkiness but we haven't really talked about that lately....
Could I be so lucky?????

~~tries in vain to slow the butterflies~~

seems going slow with the fella was the best thing to do...
we have talked for hours (2-3) on the phone the last 3 nights
I have learned ALOT about him, silenced alot of fears & have increased hope.
only problem that WILL interfere so far that I see is:
he is a church type...I am a witch...
we have spoken on this briefly & we both seem to be able to compromise...
Neither will push theirs on the other.
He does smoke but wants to quit...
he smokes after supper & when stressed...
He has one confessed kink so far
We have set a "date" for tomorrow night...
chinese food & movies at his place
We will get to talk more & cuddle then, who knows
*remember to trim & paint toenails & pumic stone your feet!!!*

I guess the mourning moon heard my plea.
Thank you Goddess for the recent happiness he has brought.
*I do hope he is for the long run*

Now that is crazy!!

Cade Is Here said:

Now that is crazy!!

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Why is it crazy??? (or what part of the post made you think that??)
I had a fucking awesome weekend with him
So glad I took the chance

Pic is of the damage I did to his back on Friday night...
I warned him bites would bring out the claws...
he actually enjoyed them... grinned every time they got sunk in.

I am the mourning star and I hear your plea. Into the future you will see. A year from now your wedding night be. As I will, so mote it be.

ahh well... too good to be true...
asked a simple question & haven't heard a peep since.
was good be alive again if only for a week...
~~Recages the nympho~~

Editted to add...

Heard from him later that night.(I KNOW he doesn't have internet...)
we straightened out the misunderstanding & spent the next 4 days together.
have tonight off at my request
he is insatiable for goodness sake

gonna miss him when I am in Ontario for x-mas...

Had a pretty good x-mas with my giants in Ontario.
my teens stand about 6ft5... 18 & 16 years of age.
I am ALMOST 6 ft myself but I never thought I would be looking up to talk to my kids...
Stayed at my dad's place with the step sis & bro, saw grandparents I haven't seen since I was a teen, so they got to see me with their great grand kids & went to see my nana that I haven't seen since last x-mas.
I miss my sister. we have pretty much drifted apart & rarely talk anymore.
I came back with new memories, pics of my son's, the youngest & his "long term" G/F (just under a year), pics of my dad's parents, pics of my mom's mother, pics of my dad & stepmom.
Bought myself a wireless keyboard & mouse
had a good time between the time I landed back in the maritimes & new years.
new years eve it all fell apart.
Got into a bit of a fight with the "new beau", went & spent new years with friends at a kinky party, got marks & called him when I was heading home & he still wasn't sure if he wanted me over or not
"whatever you want" was the expression...
I hung up & went home...*I wanted him to show me he gave a shit by asking me to be with him*

I am single again, not happy & wondering WTF I did... again....

yet another that lets the small head do the thinking....

Ok ...
Heard from him Thursday night.
Talk about a run around, wouldn't give difinitave answeres, kept back stepping & such.. found out he didn't like me on the computer but wouldn't tell me, he doesn't like me talking to friends on MSN but didn't tell me, he doesn't think he can get over the fact that I am Pagan & that my "morals" are wrong for him. I told him I was on the comp because HE couldn't figure out what HE wanted to do so I amused myself till he did figure it out (I asked "whatcha want to do?" several times that night in question), I LET him read all my chat when he came in so I wasn't hiding anything, we have know each other for months & he KNEW I was a witch, & as for Morals, WTF about his?? he could have said no anytime if he was having issues with his being HERE for almost a month. so I sat & thought about the conversation all day at work on friday & got depresed only to see him at the days end & then he has the nerve to ask me for a drive home. I say sure but I am heading to the bank first, which is his as well so it is good. well... his morals went out the window when we got there as he leaned over the space & caught me, moved my hair aside & bit me (remember I didn't want it to end so I was happy with the attention), we went into the bank after he had a few minutes at my flesh & I was done first & got thinking this is fucked... so I asked him when he got in about the morals thing & I wasn't into playing games. Either he wanted me or not I don't like rollercoasters. as we drove from the bank to his place he talked about how I make him feel, how he wants me but not as a G/f but maybe a FWB... I told him to make up his mind & state the limit because I would have to go by his limit as mine is alot higher. I was willing to overlook/deal with his christianity, I was willing to hide my kink until HE was ready to try it, but I am PAGAN, God fearing religions never sat well & I have learned many. I prefer to be accountable for my own fate with MAYBE occasional intervention, but not leaving it up to someone/something fully who also has millions of others to hear & answer, or has gained the "dominant" religion status by killing off the compitition early in it's life (documented crusades, witch hunts...). I told him I have been A, B ,C & so on deviations of christianity & never found true peace like I do/have as a Pagan. By this time we are in his parking lot, truck running as he lets this sink in.. he asks if I will come upstairs. I tell him :no, my morals are't good enough for him remember?" He looks hurt & tries to reason with me. I figure revenge now could happen if I do this right. never think you can end it with a scorpio... they always have last say I ask if he would play (giuitar) & sing for me & get "maybeee" so I agree to go upstairs but I am not staying... we head up & he strips down to nothing... I love his body, no fat, lean & trim, fur in just the right places... I ask him to turn so I can see his ass... he does & adds a comment "you like this ass don't ya?" I respond with a "yeppers I do, it is a very nice one" I wonder who has been coaching him on how to talk like this as it seems so out of character for him but he does it on occasion, so I go with it, I figure he thinks he is going to get laid tonight & I have no intention of losing ANY clothing off my body. We go into the living room & he hugs me in close & decides to turn the other side of my neck purple to wear down my wall... I get 2 calls for my home based business back to back. He continues after the calls & it feels some good, but I won't let him win me over inside but I let it look like he won on the outside. I sit in the chair & he towers over me leaning in for kisses... I rub his chest hair & ask what he wants. He tells me he wants to fuck me or cum in me somehow. I grin & tell him I ain't getting undressed as I stand up from the chair & proceed to give him a standing tongue bath. I can feel him quiver & shake as I kiss & lick his flesh, starting at the earlobe on his left side, down his neck along his side to the hip, back up to the nipple, round it & nibble a few times, back down kisses thru the chest fur, around the back, down one leg up the other, across the ass & back up & down the spine, around the hip & up the side to the shoulder, up on my toes to get his neck I trace my hands down his arms & feel the gooseflesh come up, back around to the front & working down the right side this time I stop to play with his now hard member, kissing it, licking & even sucking in the head, cupping the balls. I look up & remind him of his morals & he says "what morals?" as I plant, what I know to be the final kiss on his erection, then come up slightly to raspberry his belly & I stand up fully, look at him & I reply "the morals that told you I wasn't good enough to be a girlfriend. I have to go, I have deliveries waiting to do" & move away from him to get my boots & coat on. I have noticed a new phone # with "brenda" beside it on the notepad by the phone so I am sure he won't be lonely. I ask for a hug & he gives me one... as I leave I say "see ya on Monday, back to co-workers we go" & walk out. my step was slightly lighter as I go, knowing it is him hanging now, not me.

Yes I am a bitch, but don't ever piss off a scorpio.

update

well all is ok I guess...
work is good, the guys are back flirting with me as word has got about that I am single again.. the fella the had me for a while has started talking to me again (guess he is over the shock of MY goodbye). I lost my truck for the last week because the air compressor casing exploded, so until they find a caseing for a core charge or decide to pay for the part without a core to hand in, I am starting later, getting less work done & not happy because I have to wait for the truck I use to come in from night shift. I am back in with the kinky friends after taking 3 weeks away from the play space for the 'nilla fella. Had some really cool marks put on me at the play party on new years & look forward to more. Thinking of getting another tatt soon... I have 4 more symbols/pics in mind.. 2 will incorporated into one tatt. left shoulder I think... or lower back not sure which. Then one on each outer calf. I want new boots. Since messing up my ankle in the summer I can't wear spiky heels so I am looking at new bitch boots... pleasers.com is where I am browsing...I am in love with the Electra line (Can't decide between 2064 or 2037...) I am re-arranging the living space & cleaning/cleansing it in hopes to rid myself of the bad karma I seem to have stuck here. I am hoping my small business takes off & to get a newer car soon, seems the one I have doesn't like the warm weather.

hope to get into the mood to post in the BJSP again soon...lol



(I got the pics back for my drawing on new years... OMF he was sadistic...)

Well I was over at the local Play space in partial leathers last night.
White bra & shirt, (tied at the waist) mid thigh deep blue lambskin leather skirt, fishnet sleeves, lambskin leather gloves (just wanted my hands covered last night for some strange reason...) normal black pantyhose, cute open toe 3 inch heel shoes, a chain with small lock around my ankle, hair down & my chainmail "handcuffs" about my neck.
It was an open Fetish Night so non group members could come in.
I try to make it as often as possible to contribute & my job isn't jepordazied if anyone finds out about my lifestyle so I am not really concered about being recognized. My thought is if they see me at it they are there too so no big deal & I will point that out that they were there at the party too, which is invite only, if they choose to slander me.
My bottom was there but I wasn't in a mood to request him for play, but IF he had asked to play I would have. One of the main people of our group had a small "workshop" for the new people that showed on the different "meanings" of B/D & S/M & then threw in D/S He spoke of common sense ettiquette & how to approach people (or when NOT to), why you don't inturrupt a scene (even if it is way past YOUR limits) & who to see/discuss with if something doesn't look SSC to you (the DM or host/ess), how to approach sub's/slaves that are collared & how to talk to those that aren't, how to approach a Dominant to talk to & alot of other good stuff.
I noticed one of the girls in a slight panic over something & went over to her. It turns out she is on insulin & her glucose meter wasn't working properly & she was shaking, so the mother hen in me spung into action & calmed her down & asked what COULD be wrong with the meter & she told me anything, she wasn't sure it was just saying error. I asked if it could be the batteries & she said she didn't think so or it shouldn't read at all. I suggested we find some new ones because that would be the easiest thing to discount. we found some good batteries & presto that was it she was low & we got some sweets into her & all was good. I went up & sat in the social area, after a while off came the shoes and we all got talking about non BDSM stuff as some came in from play & others went out to play. The one I had helped with the meter came in at some point in time & sat on the floor on one of the "subbie cushions" (oversized thin pillows) off to my left but I thought nothing of it as non-colared subbies sit where ever the cushions are. somehow the topic got to foot rubs & sensitive feet & the such & she turned & asked me if I wanted a foot rub. now she is at least Bi but I didn't take that in, I just wanted a foot rub, even a bad one at that point because my ankle & the balls of my feet hurt that bad. Well she moved over & started on my bad side & worked wonders, traded over to my good one & finished. I am in hindsight, as I type this, hoping that I didn't send her a message other than Thank You. I know she isn't collared so I am hoping the foot rub was thanks for finding the batteries for her meter. I didn't expect any "payback" for the gesture, I just know how scary it can be when the bloodsugar gets low as I am hypoglycemic. One of the Domme's commented later to me on "allowing a female to touch me" & that she "was very proud of me"... she knows I am straight & not comfy with a female Dominants touch. I responded with "it was just a foot rub, had she ventured up further I would have gotten distressed" we both laughed & that was it.
I was a tad off because my Top hasn't shown the last 2 weeks even though he is not out at sea. I am a greedy little bottom it would seem. I need to find a kinky b/f he can teach...lol. I put my phone on silent while I am at the play space out of common courtsey & I missed the call from my "rabbit" at 1AM, but looked at 2AM & called him back but got no answer (he was prob passed out as he goes & gets hammered sat nights). I don't drink Sat nights as the play space is no alcohol, no drugs & no attitude which is just fine by me
There is a general meeting today to discuss what needs to be looked at in the coming year for the group so I better log off now

Have a good day all

WOOOHOOOOO

My rig is fixed !!!!!
Went & picked it up tonight & took it to the yard, plugged her in & pocketed the keys
Tomorrow I am going to TRY going in early to put all my stuff back in
I was soooo happy I was giggling & hopping & doing other strange things.
By getting my OWN rig back it means I don't have to wait for a truck to come in, I can't get blamed for other people breaking shit & not saying anything & making it look like I did it, I don't have to pull all my stuff out each night & put it back in every morning, No more cleaning the mess the night drivers made, & the best bonus is I don't have to fuel her every night because night shift doesn't I only have to feed her once a week

The pic is what the part looked like AFTER it shattered.

Edited to add:

plugged her into a cord that didn't work last night so I had a hard time starting her this morning.
then the starter gave out at about 2PM... so back in the shop it went...

I hate wondering if my Boss feels I broke the truck.
Hell it has almost a million KM's on it...
it has had a very hard life as a cement hauler & shunt/spare truck.
They didn't think it would live the 4 months to re-inspect (August 07)
well it did & with a bit of work it ran till the new year.
Then the air compressor shattered, considering the age of the rig it was hard to find parts for. 2 weeks to the day it is finally returned, all fixed up. Then due to the cold & it not being plugged in properly the starter fails the DAY I get it back.
I know My boss might NOT think I broke it but all the comments of
"can't even have it one day & it's broke again?"
"what did you break this time?"
"driver abuse!!"
Really make me wonder if it could have been something I did.
Then I remember I have kept that rig running 5 months longer than anyone expected.
Maybe she is running on borrowed time...
she is a 95 volvo daycab, looks like shit, but she is MINE... all MINE
I have been driving her since april of 2007... no-one else takes her.
no-one wants her... alot like her driver...
I don't want the pretty new trucks that have payments, the shiny new ones that the guys keep hitting shit with or flipping over... I just want MY truck. As old as she is, she is like me, goes to work, does her job & rests easy at night knowing she did well.