Hog Waller wants you....

jhe1950

Along for the ride.
Joined
Jul 7, 2007
Posts
2,081
....after flooding a more than kind Englishman's thread with our posts, we cranked up the ole Web TV we salvaged from the Land Fill. They elected me spokesman, as this dang anklet the judge has on me first beeps then draws sherriff deputies galore right to me. Hiram, says he don't want me around the still with all the unwanted attention I draw. So here I am using my feeble brain, (though considered a genius here at Hog Waller Trailer Park), inviting all of ya' to join us in our online reveries. Hey and ya don't have to be big tittied womens, rednecks, or even illiterate, (leave the latter to us), we're a very non judgemental community lookin for people who share or enjoy our sub par intellegence, and often confusing speech patterns. Looks also mean little, though people with full sets of teeth make us nervous, we still tolerate them.

Eventually we plan a hog roast for our newfound friends, as the farm accross the road has plenty of them, that is if any of us can figure out how Y'all can get here from there....

So drop us a line or me a pm, (is that fancy for bm), and come on down and enjoy
 
what iffen we wants to brang our sister sereh and our coon dawgs?

is that lowed?
 
what iffen we wants to brang our sister sereh and our coon dawgs?

is that lowed?
Well tis a double wide and I just kicked Bufford, his bitches and pups outa the spare room, while that's promised at moment, y'all can most certainly stake a claim to the 'maro front and back seat....so com'on down or up or however y'all get here, oh and a 12 pack of PBR is greatly appreciated
 
sir, we do have a trailor only iffen wees llowed to park in ta yard.

see, sereh is kinda shy bout livin in nother home so we keep the wheels on ars. but kindly thankin you.
 
sir, we do have a trailor only iffen wees llowed to park in ta yard.

see, sereh is kinda shy bout livin in nother home so we keep the wheels on ars. but kindly thankin you.
Hiram's a sayin' he'll scour the land fill for a weed whacker so's I kin clear the yard, and sereh an' you are mow than welcum ta park there. Tha associashin's decided tha' for certain persnal fava's you an' sereh might provide they'd even wave the extra lot fee....(that being the case mightin' y'all bring a full case of PBR, and carton of Marlboro Reds wi' ya' instead o' the 12 pack I asked y'all for before.....now alls left is ta figur' out hows y'all will git here....oh and byes the way, no funny stuff 'tween y'all an me, 'cause I'm bussing in my otha' honey and 'spect her ta' have the spare room once Daisy Lu hoses it down....
 
Hiram's a sayin' he'll scour the land fill for a weed whacker so's I kin clear the yard, and sereh an' you are mow than welcum ta park there. Tha associashin's decided tha' for certain persnal fava's you an' sereh might provide they'd even wave the extra lot fee....(that being the case mightin' y'all bring a full case of PBR, and carton of Marlboro Reds wi' ya' instead o' the 12 pack I asked y'all for before.....now alls left is ta figur' out hows y'all will git here....oh and byes the way, no funny stuff 'tween y'all an me, 'cause I'm bussing in my otha' honey and 'spect her ta' have the spare room once Daisy Lu hoses it down....

Excuse me, pardon me there sir... I seem to have gotten lost in this area. Can someone tell me how to get back to the interstate? Wow, you have a lot of stuff on your front lawn, are you having a garage sale this weekend?
 
Excuse me, pardon me there sir... I seem to have gotten lost in this area. Can someone tell me how to get back to the interstate? Wow, you have a lot of stuff on your front lawn, are you having a garage sale this weekend?
I see y'all must na' be tha' bright young perdy woman.....as t'aint no interstate for like 70 miles....thanks for the garage sale idea....but in all honesty I have ta say I always thought o' this stuff as my personal art gallery....least that's kept the Hog Waller association (dang that's a long word) from makin' me clean it up....but long as you're here why doncha stay fer a while, as none o' us could tell ya, how ta get to no interstate anyway....don't yer name sound familiar? seems I know ya from someplace....oh an' how'd ya like a PBR, seems a couple out o' town friends will be bringing more soon....though y'ad best move the SST as I spect thsy wanna use the front yard for their home...
 
I see y'all must na' be tha' bright young perdy woman.....as t'aint no interstate for like 70 miles....thanks for the garage sale idea....but in all honesty I have ta say I always thought o' this stuff as my personal art gallery....least that's kept the Hog Waller association (dang that's a long word) from makin' me clean it up....but long as you're here why doncha stay fer a while, as none o' us could tell ya, how ta get to no interstate anyway....don't yer name sound familiar? seems I know ya from someplace....oh an' how'd ya like a PBR, seems a couple out o' town friends will be bringing more soon....though y'ad best move the SST as I spect thsy wanna use the front yard for their home...

Oh, well, mighty nice of you, and people are so friendly here. Hummmm I think I hear a couple of banjos playing...sounds almost like they are dueling.
 
Oh, well, mighty nice of you, and people are so friendly here. Hummmm I think I hear a couple of banjos playing...sounds almost like they are dueling.
Well that must be Hiram's grand kids, hmmm haven't heard banjos since Ned Beaty asked for directions.
 
dang woman have you no sense of smell an' are ya' blind look north, Bemis has the best business in the county....1800 hogs on that farm there, this here's Indiana, watcha expect
 
dang woman have you no sense of smell an' are ya' blind look north, Bemis has the best business in the county....1800 hogs on that farm there, this here's Indiana, watcha expect

INDIANA???? I thought I was in Kentucky. I did get turned around. Whew...they stink.
 
INDIANA???? I thought I was in Kentucky. I did get turned around. Whew...they stink.
Good for the sinuses, and again your sense of directions stink, (thank god). Indiana, KY, not much difference ceptin here the Kentuckians got lost on their way to Chicago
 
Good for the sinuses, and again your sense of directions stink, (thank god). Indiana, KY, not much difference ceptin here the Kentuckians got lost on their way to Chicago

Wow.. I slept so well in the cow barn. Who knew pig stink was as good as a sleeping pill.
 
Wow.. I slept so well in the cow barn. Who knew pig stink was as good as a sleeping pill.
Now y'all's hoggin the Apple IIe, how's I suppose ta' keep INS updated when we land in England. (Sorry folks we's attendin a party at EA's house today.) I mean I barely had the chance ta get a line off to INS as to how close we are ta' landin'. Too bad SoCmfort and Sereh are 'fraid of flyin', though I thought 'twas nice oh Hiram to give 'em all those spare innertubes and bicycle pump ta' put around the "home" still not sure that dang thing will make it to the state line, no less cross the Atlantic, but dang them girls are detemined...
 
dang woman have you no sense of smell an' are ya' blind look north, Bemis has the best business in the county....1800 hogs on that farm there, this here's Indiana, watcha expect

Seems that you're the one with the speech impediment, jhe! :D Your accent is so thick I can hardly elucidate the connotation of your statements. :p
 
Seems that you're the one with the speech impediment, jhe! :D Your accent is so thick I can hardly elucidate the connotation of your statements. :p
Wha' are y'all some kinda Yankee or sumptin'. I t'aint got no accent, leasin' not 'round here.
An what's up with all these mispellin's. I'm impressed tha' can work on cars though, cause god knows the 'maro could use a good 'eludication' as well as an oil change. An' I'm sorry 'bout y'all's "connotation" as I too have wet my finger then stuck in the outlet while it was "connotated" took 4 weeks for the three hairs left on ma' head to lay flat after that.
 
Wha' are y'all some kinda Yankee or sumptin'. I t'aint got no accent, leasin' not 'round here.
An what's up with all these mispellin's. I'm impressed tha' can work on cars though, cause god knows the 'maro could use a good 'eludication' as well as an oil change. An' I'm sorry 'bout y'all's "connotation" as I too have wet my finger then stuck in the outlet while it was "connotated" took 4 weeks for the three hairs left on ma' head to lay flat after that.

Pardon me...can you repeat that a little slower? Maybe with some visual aids?
 
Seems that you're the one with the speech impediment, jhe! :D Your accent is so thick I can hardly elucidate the connotation of your statements. :p
I 'pologize. IN showd me somthin' called a dictionary, promise not to make mistakes in the future w/ y'alls big word..ceptin' could y'all try not to make 'em more than two syllables...thanks
 
look to the right....

...Now y'all has your dang visual aid....and thanks for the word book...sure y'all won't stay on an teach our kids...I mean our schoolhouse does have a smokers' lounge for 3rd graders on up...an if y'all don't wan' em tha' young....well there's always rehab at the county jail.....
 
...Now y'all has your dang visual aid....and thanks for the word book...sure y'all won't stay on an teach our kids...I mean our schoolhouse does have a smokers' lounge for 3rd graders on up...an if y'all don't wan' em tha' young....well there's always rehab at the county jail.....

yikes, I just looked at the school house and met some of the students. ummm I don't think I have ever seen any third graders with 5 oclock shadows at noon. When I walked in I think I saw all their desks levitate..wonder why.
 
yikes, I just looked at the school house and met some of the students. ummm I don't think I have ever seen any third graders with 5 oclock shadows at noon. When I walked in I think I saw all their desks levitate..wonder why.
...Yeppers 5 o'clock shaow at noon, must have been the boys were on a field trip....prob'ly helpin' them nice men in them funny white suits lookin' fer stuff in the landfill agin'...oh and the levitating seats, (thanks agin fer the dictionary), might ha been cause there seems ta' have been some unusual growths in 'em girls since they took a field trip ta' the landfill themselves....does make fer some interestin, conversations after a back seat date as I understand it...
 
...Yeppers 5 o'clock shaow at noon, must have been the boys were on a field trip....prob'ly helpin' them nice men in them funny white suits lookin' fer stuff in the landfill agin'...oh and the levitating seats, (thanks agin fer the dictionary), might ha been cause there seems ta' have been some unusual growths in 'em girls since they took a field trip ta' the landfill themselves....does make fer some interestin, conversations after a back seat date as I understand it...

I'll think about staying if you'll you at least get me some wax for my legs and pick me up some nice things for the spare bedroom.
 
Jasmine's meltin' candles as I write, an' Suthurn and her friend Sarah's back from their adventure w/ the sailors from the Nimitz in Norfolk, (really sorry they's couln't make it to INV's party), with bunches of cash, an a full tank o' gas in the home....so y'all kin take a ride ta the Dollar General in Big Spings as soon as y'all wanna and pick up some real purdy stuff for the spare room. (Don' ferget the pine tree freshners, lessen you like the smell of Buford, his bitches and pups, or if you'd rather could open the window, as seeing how your used to the hog farm by now.) Anyways, afta your shopping spree the wax should all be melted, do ya' mind if Big Bertha does the waxin'? 'Cause she's a might sore y'all won't be travellin' with her in the Kenworth, and frankly she scares us all a bit? Thought her waxing your legs and other parts mighten calm her a bit.
 
Jasmine's meltin' candles as I write, an' Suthurn and her friend Sarah's back from their adventure w/ the sailors from the Nimitz in Norfolk, (really sorry they's couln't make it to INV's party), with bunches of cash, an a full tank o' gas in the home....so y'all kin take a ride ta the Dollar General in Big Spings as soon as y'all wanna and pick up some real purdy stuff for the spare room. (Don' ferget the pine tree freshners, lessen you like the smell of Buford, his bitches and pups, or if you'd rather could open the window, as seeing how your used to the hog farm by now.) Anyways, afta your shopping spree the wax should all be melted, do ya' mind if Big Bertha does the waxin'? 'Cause she's a might sore y'all won't be travellin' with her in the Kenworth, and frankly she scares us all a bit? Thought her waxing your legs and other parts mighten calm her a bit.


no worries at the party INS let me take a bubble bath and shave. I feel fit as a fiddle (oh no..am I starting to fit in??) now.
 
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