Tumblr's Finest Dominant

[Etoile]

The link is http://lordsteve.tumblr.com/ but I'm afraid it might go away so I want to share with you AND preserve this for posterity.

Title:
learn from.. the master (ladies)

Subtitle:
hey ladies this is steve but you can call me lord steve... if ur lucky

i'm p much the best dom in tha oc region (represnt motherfucksa), shit's crazy. got more black leather than i got black friends and i got a lot of black friends (not racist)

Entry #1:
title: yo
calling all girls in tha greater OC area… lemme make your wildest BDSM fantasies become true and not just dreams anymore. i got mad experience and I am hella forceful and shit, yall be gaggin for my dilz like my dog Great Dane Cook be begging for he doggy treats in no time.

let my dick be your doggy treats, girl.

pick you up in my nearly-paid-for camero (stevemobile), take you to my basement, lay down some rubber sheets and just go nuts. get my freak on and bring out your inner freak at the same time… package deal lol

so holla back at me so I can holla at dat ass with a riding crop

Entry #2:
a question I get asked a lot is how did I get so good… lol no but for serious

ppl ask me if B to tha D to tha S to the M is a lifestyle or just a kink… and i’m all “lol u serious bro?”

if you don’t live like you Lord Masterbro of all west coast ladies 24/7 you’re just a poser…i do how I do cause i all dark and shit, like a bat that swallowed a mummy that had a curse so it pukes blood all the time now. yeah. heavy shit.

i see all them fakers with they handcuff keys hanging off of they wicked tight shell necklaces and I shake my head in sadness, cause i know they just frontin. us real doms got to disassociate ourselves from those pseudobros and their weakass h*mo spreader bars they probably pick up on sale at walmart or some shit…

no offence to my h*mobros, you know i got much love for ya. but not that kind, gross lol

 

[Chiara_searches]

Seriously? No, I mean, seriously?

 

[kiwi_submissive]

Wow, words just escape me.

 

[ImOnIt]

nearly-paid-for camero (stevemobile)

i all dark and shit, like a bat that swallowed a mummy that had a curse so it pukes blood all the time now

Mid level topical troll. Bonus points for the quoted lines, points deducted for less interesting content. 6/10 would read again. Also, the page icon is a tiny picture of a guys face i assume.

 

[ImOnIt]

sometimes when i’m in the middle of a “scene” as we call it I can’t help myself, i just start bustin a freestyle until i’m bustin my nut. my rhymes as mad tight as the lucky ladie’s you know what… haha

little lady i was doing last night didn’t appreciate my flow tho… i had her on her knees and I was puttin my clips on them sweetass titties and lettin her taste the Steve-sausage (Stausage) and I just heard a beat drop in my head and had to let loose.

all my black bros say i’m basically black so it’s ok if I drop a few n-bombs when the flow is upon me but this bitch get all offended and frigid, bros and ladysluts. she’s like “i don’t think you should say those words” or some shit and I’m all

“girl, it all just part of the game

all yall ladies the same

make ya call out my name

my dick is big as a train

gonna squeeze them nips

and rock them hips

no this aint a drug trip”

and by the time I stopped slingin sweet rhymes she got the ropes off got dressed and chugged one of my natty lights i keep on hand for energy. then she asked me to drive her home.

what a waste, bros.

This is an earlier entry

 

[YourCaptor]

Bitches shizzle my nizzle...

fo rizzle!

 

[Etoile]

This is an earlier entry

Later, not earlier - Tumblr goes in reverse chronological order like a blog, rather than forward like a forum thread.

And yeah, it might be fake, but it's funnier to think that it's real. I like the BDSM bits more than the wigger bits, "puttin my clips on them sweetass titties" LOL!

Also, the page icon is a tiny picture of a guys face i assume.

Yeah, it's his profile icon. Tumblr is not so great with that.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

This is my favourite part. I can absolutely hear the regret in his words.

and by the time I stopped slingin sweet rhymes she got the ropes off got dressed and chugged one of my natty lights i keep on hand for energy. then she asked me to drive her home.

what a waste, bros.

 

[graceanne]

 

[satindesire]

The win is epic.

Obviously fake. Done for sheer lulz.

I award him one internets for making people believe he's srslies.

 

[Etoile]

The win is epic.

Obviously fake. Done for sheer lulz.

I award him one internets for making people believe he's srslies.

SHHHH I WANT TO BELIEVE

 

[Essene]

*gasp*

He sounds delightful.

Where can I get me some of THAT?

-Really though. This just made my day. I need more entries.

 

[shy slave]

Etoile - thank you!
Definitely made me smile this morning.
Shame the cost to fly over to him is too high, or I would be booking my flight now

 

[satindesire]

SHHHH I WANT TO BELIEVE

Sorry!

Belay my last, shipmate.

Jesus Christ, am I married to a Sailor or what?!

 

[Allyourbase]

"i do how I do cause i all dark and shit, like a bat that swallowed a mummy that had a curse so it pukes blood all the time now. yeah. heavy shit."

A bat that swallowed a mummy that pukes blood. All the time.

That IS dark and shit!
Like so dark it is beyond black. Yo.

(I want that bat as a pet, btw. With a tiny collar and a leash, so I can take it with me, fluttering around my head, when I go to the vampire bar. emo, yo. fo' sho')

 

[Lady_In_Black]

I could only read the first post on the page before I was laughing so hard my stomch is no hurt.

Can some one be a dear and fetch moi a cup of steaming mint tea? Thanks!



But srsly, that is teh epic. i say he gets TWO internets for that. Lolz. Srsly ppl.

 

[Etoile]

In reality I fear he is...
FOREVER ALONE

 

[catalina_francisco]

LOL, I needed a good laugh, and this one did it.

Catalina

 

[Netzach]

The win is epic.

Obviously fake. Done for sheer lulz.

I award him one internets for making people believe he's srslies.

+1. and I have to type morethanthat

 

[neci]

bwhahahahahaha

i am going to start stalking him.

 

[JamieJ424]

Maybe he could learn me some things. That would be SWEET.

 

[midwestyankee]

So many questions, so little room left in the Internet to contain them...


Has anyone seen Stella recently? This looks like it could be one of her what-it-would-be-like-to-blog-on-acid-and-testosterone experiments.

How can anyone who claims to have the regular service of so many submissives still have a "sticky beer pong table?"

How high is "balls?"

Thinking I should light a candle to the memories of all the innocent electrons that were abused in the creation of that page.

 

[Etoile]

MOAR!! (for the posterity)

girl,
wanna tie you to my sticky beerpong table cause you a dirty girl and hotbox your gimp mask.

yall gonna be high as balls and ready to do anything I say after you “toke” a look at my ripped as hell bod and fuzzy restraints.

 

[Allyourbase]

This does give a whole new definition of suffering, doesn't it.

 

[rekane]

I think "lordsteve" should be enclosed in a glass case.
Something so rare and remarkable as this should be saved for posterity.

Even though I am not into watersports, I totally peed my pants.

"And all the subbies say I'm pretty fly..."

Merci bien, Etoile, for bringing this little gem to Lit.