Novice Sub, how to translate to Relationship?

[MariSpree]

I've known that I'm a sub for a couple of years, but I haven't had the opportunity to bring it out of my fantasies and preferred pages on Literotica and into an actual relationship. I'm attracted to dominant, strong men... But still...

I have no idea how to bring this up to my partner. I would like verbal and some physical abuse, but I'm kind of shy about it.

Any tips, advice?

Ultimately, I want a lifestyle Dom/sub relationship, not just in the bedroom. Is it too ambitious to want that from someone who isn't already involved in it?

 

[welkin]

How about starting with asking him what his kinks and fantasies are? And look for possible overlaps. The key is to sound casual and natural and fun, like it's the most normal discussion that every couple has eventually (probably is, or should be). If he does have Dom inclinations, chances are he has already fantasized about it and if you two have a trusting relationship, hopefully he is willing to share.

 

[Sweetdaisymae]

Do you have a particually favourite story that might mirror what you are seeking in life? Ask him to read it then have a discussion with him about how he felt, does he associate with the Dominant or the submissive, and how would he feel about a relationship more akin to the one in the story.
I have used this method to some success with my SO

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Scenario

You're fixing him a cup of coffee. When it's time to add a spoonful of sugar, you instead add a spoonful of salt and then bring him the cup.

<Spit, spit> "Bleah! What the hell?"
"What's wrong, dear?" <Innocent look>
"You put *salt* in my coffee!" <Spit, spit>
"Oh, I did? How ever did I manage that?" <Turn away, bend from the waist, presenting your bottom only a foot or two away.> "Maybe you should spank me so I won't be so careless." <Giggle>​

His response will tell you a lot. (Of course, you needn't follow this script verbatim. It's just a "starter idea" to get the conversation rolling.)

 

[MariSpree]

@Welkin: I've brought it up in passing, kind of. Telling him about my best friend and her introduction to bdsm life as a Dom. Then I stressed that dominance wouldn't be my cup of tea, because of my personality. Funny story, interested expression, but absolutely no response!! Silence.

@DaisyMae: I'll try and work up the nerve! Sounds like it would be an effective and direct approach.

@SirWinston: That sounds like a must-try!

Thanks to everyone for their response and feedback though!! Much appreciated!