a companion to 30 in 30

[Senna Jawa]

neonurotic has come up with a great idea, thank you neunurotic, and his thread 30 Poems in 30 Days deserves companionship. I feel that the 30 in 30 thread should consist almost exclusively of poems, as it does now, so that poems do not get buried in other stuff. On the other hand let's have a place to talk about those 30 in 30 poems, and on everything else related.

Thus first of all I'd like to thank clutching calliope for welcoming me to the 30 in 30 thread. I am surprised myself that I got tempted by the 30-30 challenge.

I'd like to suggest that we comment here, in this companion thread, the 30 in 30 poems, roughly speaking in the order in which they appear there, starting with Anna's Your Sour B.C. Apple, except for one additional rule: only poems for which their authors gave an explicit permission to comment on, are going to be discussed here.

For instance, I am giving my permission, once and forever, for all my poems from 30 in 30. Someone else may permit only certain of their poems. Thus pay attention everybody (well, it's not a death and life issue, but still, let's be nice). Also, I showed up in the 30-30 thread late. Thus wait for a while for earlier poems to be permitted, and let's attempt to match the order of commenting with the order of posting the poems (again, possible minor chronological infractions are nothing to worry about).

Now, post your (optional) permissions in this thread (starting with Anna -- actually, the order of permissions is not too relevant; it's the order in which the poems were posted that matters the most).

Regards,

 

[Liar]

Good idea.

All mine (written under my name or my alt MinorMonster) are free for all kinds of response, analysis, suggestions and scrutiny.

I just hope time permits me (which I'm glumly aware that it probably won't as much as I'd like) to return the favor.

 

[annaswirls]

I have not been writing much lately, kind of in hibernation but anytime anyone wants to say anything about any of my poetry, please do. the only poetry I do not want constructive criticism on are the all of a sudden passion suddenly poems because well, you know, they are not supposed to be.... (*fill in the blank)

I do not think it is necessary to go to the earlier poems, just comment as they come up. I have not been reading much either...but am trying to get motivated back into the poetry thang....

 

[annaswirls]

holy cow

#1 I barely remember writing those poems and
#2 A lot of poets have pulled theirs down read 'em while they are hot, that is the trick

 

[Tzara]

People are always welcome to comment on my writing—be it poems or blogs or comments—and are explicitly welcome to say whatever they want to say about it. I don't, however, plan on going through and commenting on other people's poems in the 30/30 thread. Not at this time, anyway.

A separate thread for comments is a good idea though, SJ. I'm bad at dropping random comments in the middle of the 30/30, so it's nice to have someplace else to put them.

 

[clutching_calliope]

You're welcome, Senna. I'm enjoying reading your stuff.

Why are you surprised about wanting to take part in the 30-30's? Neo's idea was brilliant, and now, especially with Liar/MinorMonster going for round 6, it is also proven.

I hope that most forum go'ers are open to feedback, but since I can only speak for me, I am.

 

[TheRainMan]

nice idea, Senna. that 30/30 should be for poetry only. we're all guilty of clogging it up with other stuff. -- and i am also glad you decided to join in on the 30/30.

like Calli and Tzara and Liar and Anna, anything i write is open to any sort of comment anyone wishes to give.

i think feedback for the 30/30 thread poems might be particularly useful to the writers, since they are early drafts, done in one sitting, and far from finished products. i can not promise to give any though, since time lately has been very tight. i will try, if somehow i can discover more hours in day.

 

[sweetjain]

I'd love feedback on anything. I'm still trying to "find my voice" so critique is helpful.

 

[champagne1982]

well, let me welcome you, too SJ. I've been fortunate enough to have completed 2 30/30's in one straight go. I'm glad I was healthy enough to have the two stretches of health.

[aside]

Speaking of which - health, that is. I've been given a clean slate from my cardiologist and now my life can resume. He told me that my echocardiogram was remarkably unremarkable. In actual fact, the imaging technician couldn't tell that I had a prosthesis replacing my native valve at all. I'm incredibly thankful for my surgeon's skill.​

[/aside]

So anyway, please, anyone, feel free to comment on any poems you see, anywhere on Literotica, penned by me. I rarely post any more so the threads are about the only place I keep my poems, here.

I'm happy to have a place to put congratulations and commentary apart from the poetry on the thread. Very good idea, Mr. G. ji.

 

[Tzara]

Speaking of which - health, that is. I've been given a clean slate from my cardiologist and now my life can resume. He told me that my echocardiogram was remarkably unremarkable. In actual fact, the imaging technician couldn't tell that I had a prosthesis replacing my native valve at all. I'm incredibly thankful for my surgeon's skill.

Excellent news, Ms. C.

 

[tungtied2u]

[aside]

Speaking of which - health, that is. I've been given a clean slate from my cardiologist and now my life can resume. He told me that my echocardiogram was remarkably unremarkable. In actual fact, the imaging technician couldn't tell that I had a prosthesis replacing my native valve at all. I'm incredibly thankful for my surgeon's skill.​

[/aside]

No fair sneaking this great news in as an aside ! There's lots of folks who'll be thrilled to hear this...
I'm so happy for your good news!!!!

edited to add: mods, feel free to move this to it's own thread, if champers doesn't mind

 

[champagne1982]

No fair sneaking this great news in as an aside ! There's lots of folks who'll be thrilled to hear this...
I'm so happy for your good news!!!!

edited to add: mods, feel free to move this to it's own thread, if champers doesn't mind

okay okay. i'll make an update thread...

 

[tungtied2u]

okay okay. i'll make an update thread...

Thanks Carrie ! I know others will find great joy in hearing your good news.

 

[Senna Jawa]

well, let me welcome you too, SJ.

Thank you. And I in turn welcome everybody in my belated state.

Speaking of which - health, that is. I've been given a clean slate from my cardiologist and now my life can resume.​

WONDERFUL!!! Carrie, I am so happy for you.

So, I guess, see ya around quite a bit

Senna Jawa

 

[Senna Jawa]

You're welcome, Senna. I'm enjoying reading your stuff.

Why are you surprised about wanting to take part in the 30-30's?

The dates under my poems show that I didn't write much in the past years, hardly at all in English. I was equally disappointed with the both poetic scenes, the English language and the Polish language environs. Somehow I was still writing some poems in Polish, even if rationally, if at all, then it'd make more sense to write in English. I am tempted to lurk on poetic forums but otherwise I intended to forget the whole thing, it'd be nice. Even with 30/30 I don't feel that I am really in, meaning into poetry.

Neo's idea was brilliant

Yes, it's great.

and now, especially with Liar/MinorMonster going for round 6, it is also proven.

How impressive!

I hope that most forum go'ers are open to feedback, but since I can only speak for me, I am.

Now brace yourself

Best regards,

 

[clutching_calliope]

Subject, predicate

It was hot and wet enough
to grow poinsettias, and by the time I’d harvested
my first good crop of acne, Grandpa sort of became

one.

Hi Rainy!
Are you laughing yet?

 

[champagne1982]

Hi Rainy!
Are you laughing yet?

I am. Thanks for giving me the chance before he edits it away. LOL

 

[Liar]

How impressive!

Ah, well, it might have been, if that was 6 completed rounds. Half of those are attempts at 30 in a row where I gave up.

Well, at least it makes me come back and have another go at it over and over. Best cure for procrastination I've had in months. You won't write any poems, unless you try.

 

[TheRainMan]

Hi Rainy!
Are you laughing yet?

no. i don't get it.

am i having one of my grandfather's moments?

. . . help . . . help --

i can't see anything wrong with it.

. . . water me. quick.

 

[TheRainMan]

I am. Thanks for giving me the chance before he edits it away. LOL

you too.

help me.

 

[champagne1982]

you too.

help me.

Okay. You've associated your grandfather with an acne crop.

by the time I’d harvested
my first good crop of acne, Grandpa sort of became

one.

 

[Tzara]

It was hot and wet enough
to grow poinsettias, and by the time I’d harvested
my first good crop of acne, Grandpa sort of became

one.

It reads as though Grandpa sort of became a good crop of acne.

 

[clutching_calliope]

Originally
It was hot and wet enough
to grow poinsettias, and by the time I’d harvested
my first good crop of acne, Grandpa sort of became

one.

You are calling your Grandfather a crop of acne. Something that I don't think you intended.
(don't split the subject and the predicate with a new subject, silly.)

 

[champagne1982]

lol.. I guess we cleared that up

 

[TheRainMan]

You are calling your Grandfather a crop of acne. Something that I don't think you intended.
(don't split the subject and the predicate with a new subject, silly.)

i have to read it a few more times,

but to me, the word "one" clearly means "poinsettia."

why not spilt a subject and predicate? -- that's one of the things commas commas are for, no? . . .

It was hot and wet enough to grow poinsettias, and by the time I’d harvested my first good crop of acne, Grandpa sort of became one.

i just don't see how "one" refers to acne.

edited to add -- but a lot of very good readers do. so there must be a problem.