If I was a...then I would

[Suntimefuntime]

If I was right out of high school again I would say yes to the MLB player.

 

[AmberLGreen]

If I was a fish out of water, I would be dead

 

[ydahecnot]

If I was a lottery jackpot winner, I would buy a Tic-Tac plant

 

[OrdinaryPerson]

If I was a number, I would be number one

If I was a number, I would be a number two

 

[Shenanigans90]

If I was underwear then I would be panties. I care nothing about covering for a dick head and two nuts that live around the corner from an asshole.

 

[default24]

If I was a guy, I would do yoga to suck my own cock.

If only it was that easy...

 

[BrendaD]

If I was underwear then I would be panties. I care nothing about covering for a dick head and two nuts that live around the corner from an asshole.

That… is brilliant!

 

[CarlyAnn]

If I was a viagra taking baseball player then I would play harder.

 

[Vivacious_in_the_TxHills]

If I was a wet vac, I’d suck you dry.

 

[BadAmy]

If I was a dog, I would sniff your butt.

 

[BadAmy]

If I was a pro wrestler, I'd jimmyflysnooka you.
Ifykyk.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

If I was a Hot Pocket
pastry sizzling hawt ,
I’d leave a mark ,
at first bite , I’d sting

the roof of your mouth

hahaha funny thing is
you’d come back for
more , cause I’m tasty

even tho I left a mark lol

then I would be
a pizza slice

 

[sallysparrow23]

If I was a pot of coffee, I'd fill your cup.

 

[BadAmy]

If I was a g-string, I would be soooo up your ass right now.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

If I was a dingle berry , what would I be ?

Sooo up your Lit ass , ther’d be fire

what would I be ! If I didn’t leave a mark

soft and cuddly , like a citizen playground Thirsty Litstor or litstee

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

If I were a candy, I'd be a kit kat.

 

[Nicefella]

If I was an asshole I wouldn’t be ghosted as often

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

If I were a wrestler, I'd be RVD.

 

[Nicefella]

If I were a wrestler, I'd be RVD.

Fuckin’A!

https://c.tenor.com/5alsrFzajO0AAAAM/rob-van-dam-rvd.gif

 

[CarlyAnn]

If I were Jesus, then I would tell people, “You crossed the wrong guy”.

 

[BadAmy]

If I were an employer, l would overlook urine tests.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

If I were a twinkie weiner sandwich, I'd be in Bad Amys mouth.

 

[BadAmy]

If I were a twinkie weiner sandwich, I'd be in Bad Amys mouth.

If I were said twinkieweinersammich...I'd be all covered in whipped cream bitches.

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

If I were on a UHF show, I would pick Wheel of Fish.

 

[LittleSwitchy]

I'm probably going to regret this.
(so why do it you ask?)
because, I'm fuckin Badamy.

and I wanna up my internet points. aka post count.

so this is the gist...
if I was a________________
I would________________

lets get the meditation pillows out and start manifesting the idea of being someone or something else.
and if you were, well then! what would you do?

I'll start.

If I was a guy, I would do yoga to suck my own cock.

what about you?

You have see the old SNL skit? I think Will Ferrel did it.