Blurt Thread III - Emporium of Unexpected Exclamations & Revelations

[removed9556]

 

[Antryg_Windrose]

I'm going to fly in an aeroplane! Gee, that's swell!

That's more solid than flying outside the aeroplane or autogyro although balloons are helpful. Be sure to pack big balloons. And don't forget your rewards card and barf bag.

The Soviet airline Aeroflot used to give passengers exiting their planes little lapel pins, medals for surviving the flight. You could get lucky, too. Up and away, junior birdmen!

 

[Emerson40]

We don’t say dick like that at all. Are you sure he’s not a Kiwi?

Pretty sure.

Someone once asked if he was from the same place as those Flight of The Conchords fellas, and he replied with something along the lines of “You’re off your rocker, you fuckin’ deekhead!”

 

[Emerson40]

Playing ‘The Floor Is Lava’ on a ferry with your kids is a blast, and is a good source of adrenaline, and occasional, mild cardiac arrest for their sweet mother.

 

[EroticRomanticMan]

The silver lining about these lingering vision issues from the strokes is that it’s really no different now when I’m drunk or when I’m sober - I still can’t see properly and walking into walls is just the norm!

Maybe you could apply to be an extra on “The Walking Dead”. When life hands you lemons and all that rot!

 

[EroticRomanticMan]

And you say that as I'm actually watching it and thinking the same.

Pretty hard to figure out what is going on in your head but yes, maybe, I don’t know!

 

[EroticRomanticMan]

It’s not that hard to think what might be going on in my head. It either involves Hugh Jackman, Jack Black, denim, Bora Bora, filthy unspeakable sex acts or sad songs. Yes, sometimes all at once.

Better cut back on the oxy!

 

[silverwhisper]

when twitter suggests following an account named amish pornstar, you know something weird is up with the accounts you follow...

 

[removed9556]

 

[removed9556]

 

[EroticRomanticMan]

I’d like to inject something funny but my lips are brused by my phone slipping out of my grip and falling on my face! I need a smaller phone.

 

[EroticRomanticMan]

First KFC in London ran out of chicken. Now McDonalds in Australia has run out of Hash Browns.

Surely not that many people eat that shit still?

I have this issue all the time. It’s so annoying. I also can’t operate it one handed. I mean if I were to try I am sure I wouldn’t be able to. Yes.

Falling asleep while posting can be dangerous!

 

[Emerson40]

Searching for eggs in the driftwood and sea grass
Hot chocolate, grated nutmeg, and waffley nibbles
Ash settles in the cast iron from the popping fire while gulls wail above the shoreline
The girl uses a finger to tuck her wind-tossled hair behind her ear, just like her mother
The boy pokes the coals and works on his brooding look, already melting hearts
Carefree smiles, the kid’s laughter carried away by the breeze like smoke from the fire
Egg knocking, hand holding, and collecting sea glass in coloured baskets
Easter weekend, by the sea

 

[removed9556]

 

[Saucyminx]

You are a ridiculously wonderful man, and I strongly suspect the same is true of your whole family. How dare you show the rest of us up!

He is completely dreamy, isn’t he?

Venetian masks, a hand grenade, flowers, miles and miles with Jim Croche and a full moon for company, and a touch of exhaustion for spice.

 

[Saucyminx]

Business meetings should be limited to once per month. I don’t have time for this shit. I don’t have the patience for this shit. And if this chick says “ummmmmm” one more time, I might run off screaming into the West with a butcher knife in each hand.

*deep breath*

 

[midwestyankee]

Business meetings should be limited to once per month. I don’t have time for this shit. I don’t have the patience for this shit. And if this chick says “ummmmmm” one more time, I might run off screaming into the West with a butcher knife in each hand.

*deep breath*

When you use a knife like this, they tend to want to keep it for evidence. Go to Target and pick up a couple of cheap stainless steel jobs so your good ones stay in your own kitchen where they belong.

 

[pplwatching]

Business meetings should be limited to once per month. I don’t have time for this shit. I don’t have the patience for this shit. And if this chick says “ummmmmm” one more time, I might run off screaming into the West with a butcher knife in each hand.

*deep breath*

As someone who lives in the West, I will disarm you and offer a drink and friendly conversation when you get here. No point in going to jail or the funny farm over stupid people.

 

[removed9556]

 

[Miles Long]

It is finished.

 

[Emerson40]

This morning the Boy came out of his room dressed as Spider-Man, complete with the luchador mask thingy, and flipping upside down devil horns as he shot his imaginary webs everywhere.

He slipped his mask off during breakfast and, just as casual as can be, suggested I get a Spider-man suit of my own, so that the two of us could fight crime and help people together.



For a good, solid minute I gave this serious consideration.

The two of us, a team, doing whatever a spider can...

 

[Miles Long]

This morning the Boy came out of his room dressed as Spider-Man, complete with the luchador mask thingy, and flipping upside down devil horns as he shot his imaginary webs everywhere.

He slipped his mask off during breakfast and, just as casual as can be, suggested I get a Spider-man suit of my own, so that the two of us could fight crime and help people together.



For a good, solid minute I gave this serious consideration.

The two of us, a team, doing whatever a spider can...

I endorse this idea in the strongest possible manner.

 

[Emerson40]

Catching thieves, just like flies!

 

[Miles Long]

Say what you will about this guy, but he's got a great VHS collection.

 

[Emerson40]

And some formidable lycra.