Yank's Free Range Turkey Trot Warming House and Bondage Barn

[MastersDelight]

To be clear, I think the issue is what to say when talking about him, and not in addressing him directly. As in, "Did you and your X enjoy the movie last night?" At a munch, for example, would you then use "master" or something similar in this instance?

In a kink setting I wouldn't use it then unless it was a couple I knew well. But I wouldn't expect the same from others, especially going as far as to instruct them on it.

 

[MeekMe]

I see the use of things like "master" as nicknames. That's the word you use in your intimate relationship with that person. I wouldn't walk into work and say, "Listen up everybody, I call my husband 'SnuggleBunny.' If you need to talk about him please use 'SnuggleBunny' when you refer to him."

"Hey, is your SnuggleBunny coming to the party tonight?"

"Yes, my SnuggleBunny is coming to the party."

I would much rather other people use his given name. What I call him intimately is for me to use and no one else.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Yesterday I read an advice column entry that was intriguing and pertinent for our little community. The writer described the actions of a co-worker who insisted that her co-workers refer to her partner as her master. Apparently, the request has made several of her colleagues uncomfortable. As more than a few of the colleagues are themselves not your basic heterosexual pair-bonding types, the writer doesn't feel that the reluctance comes from prudery but rather from a feeling that her insistence that they refer to him as "Master" forces them to participate in her kink. The master in question attends corporate social gatherings where partners are welcome, so there's also a personal in-the-moment aspect to this as well.

Thoughts?


Edited to add this link to the original story, which contains a link to the advice-column writer's reply.

I'm afraid I would have just laughed at her as a gut reaction
When I was in Spain, I knew a marquess, which is how he was introduced to me. I had a hard time calling him that, it seemed foreign and weird to me. Ok, it was foreign and weird But with everyone else using the moniker I soon got used to it.

Asking me to use a title that is both unusual and uncomfortable, and nobody else is comfortable with it, that just seems... misguided. I would have to try really hard to make that effort, so I guess it would depend on how friendly I was with her. I would do it for my best friend, or a good friend, but not for an office acquaintance. Probably not, and I don't think her request is kosher.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[barefootgirl69]

To be clear, I think the issue is what to say when talking about him, and not in addressing him directly. As in, "Did you and your X enjoy the movie last night?" At a munch, for example, would you then use "master" or something similar in this instance?

I think it would be easier in that setting, and I probably would. I'd also have no problem is saying, 'is your little here tonight?' But, I wouldn't do so at an office party, or a family reunion.

That being said, if someone in the office or anywhere else said 'master and I' or 'I'm taking baby girl out' it wouldn't bother me. That doesn't mean I HAVE to refer to them as such.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

I think it would be easier in that setting, and I probably would. I'd also have no problem is saying, 'is your little here tonight?' But, I wouldn't do so at an office party, or a family reunion.

That being said, if someone in the office or anywhere else said 'master and I' or 'I'm taking baby girl out' it wouldn't bother me. That doesn't mean I HAVE to refer to them as such.

Yes, I'm good with whatever title they want to use as well, as long as they aren't pushing it on me.

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[midwestyankee]

Yes...every one's comfort.

It leaves me conflicted.

1. If it were for me a moral issue about which I sympathised, like skin colour in a racist society, I would find it easier to go against the tide of others comfort to do what I felt right, and do so in a quietly tactful way, I hope.

2. Maybe I should feel some outrage at this, after all, while the thin edge of the wedge I am sort of part of the community 'discriminated' against by failure to recognise titles if used, but I just cannot get excited by it or find it ......worthy.

I think it would be easier in that setting, and I probably would. I'd also have no problem is saying, 'is your little here tonight?' But, I wouldn't do so at an office party, or a family reunion.

That being said, if someone in the office or anywhere else said 'master and I' or 'I'm taking baby girl out' it wouldn't bother me. That doesn't mean I HAVE to refer to them as such.

Yes, I'm good with whatever title they want to use as well, as long as they aren't pushing it on me.

I can also see that merely hearing kinky D/s honorifics in the office would squick out some people. On that level, it really seems impolite and selfish to me.

 

[MeekMe]

I don't take kindly to people using my intimate words. I don't answer posts asking for ideas on what to call their SO because it's not something I want to put out there as something to be selected off of a menu. The last thing I want is for someone to take my words and say, "I like the way that sounds, I'm going to use that." My husband has a very specific name for me and I never tell anyone here what it is. The last time someone thought they would be cute and used it casually got a look that made them apologize immediately. They've never used it again. The only one that is allowed to use that name is my husband and at no point would I ever want him to encourage other people to refer to me as that.

If John is someone's master, then he is theirs. I'll call him John no matter our relationship. I don't have kinky community friends, but even if I did I would still use their names and no a title.

 

[midwestyankee]

I don't take kindly to people using my intimate words. I don't answer posts asking for ideas on what to call their SO because it's not something I want to put out there as something to be selected off of a menu. The last thing I want is for someone to take my words and say, "I like the way that sounds, I'm going to use that." My husband has a very specific name for me and I never tell anyone here what it is. The last time someone thought they would be cute and used it casually got a look that made them apologize immediately. They've never used it again. The only one that is allowed to use that name is my husband and at no point would I ever want him to encourage other people to refer to me as that.

If John is someone's master, then he is theirs. I'll call him John no matter our relationship. I don't have kinky community friends, but even if I did I would still use their names and no a title.

Exactly. Save your intimacy for intimate places and times.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Exactly. Save your intimacy for intimate places and times.

Ok, SnugglyPoops

 

[midwestyankee]

Ok, SnugglyPoops

Oh, my dear sweet LowlyOne, you really shouldn't have. I mean this: you really shouldn't have. For revealing our pet name, you'll have to suffer some lashes. Let's see, how many? We're on page 92, so that seems a fair number with the new bamboo cane.

Now, because you did this here, in my thread, we'll have to dial up the punishment a bit. I think you'll have to wear your plaid collar with the pink plastic paisley cuffs and your blue pin-striped butt plug. You chose poorly, I'm afraid.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Oh, my dear sweet LowlyOne, you really shouldn't have. I mean this: you really shouldn't have. For revealing our pet name, you'll have to suffer some lashes. Let's see, how many? We're on page 92, so that seems a fair number with the new bamboo cane.

Now, because you did this here, in my thread, we'll have to dial up the punishment a bit. I think you'll have to wear your plaid collar with the pink plastic paisley cuffs and your blue pin-striped butt plug. You chose poorly, I'm afraid.

Well, I sold the plaid collar in 1978 (before I even knew what it was ) and accidentally on purpose flushed those horrid cuffs down the toilet As to the pin stripe butt plug, I positively refuse to use it after you without a proper sterilization, so that's out to.

No collar, no lashes.
You plan falls to ashes.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Some people might see Master as kind of 'cute' or even ironic. Babygirl too, can be cute, and not just 'kinky' though people might make judgements about the usage of either.

Suppose the chosen title that the individuals have chosen is offensive to wider society? Slave is going to rub more people the wrong way than master, which has more than one usage, Slut? Some increase on this? Pigslutfattycocksucker and her partner master fucksbum? I'd be uncomfortable chatting with them with those titles in a pg setting I admit it!

I'd be uncomfortable, too. One would hope there'd be some common sense used in areas where they are in other's company. He might call me one thing when we are together, but it's really no-one else's business.

But, maybe I'm naive, I still don't see how asking 'Did your Master/Sir/Daddy buy you that outfit' in the right setting/munch etc between two friends could be offensive. It's no different than 'your husband/boyfriend etc'... because it's a possessive... *flounders, grinning, and says nevermind*

I'm naive.

FWIW, I would only refer to Him by his name in public anyway.

 

[midwestyankee]

Well, I sold the plaid collar in 1978 (before I even knew what it was ) and accidentally on purpose flushed those horrid cuffs down the toilet As to the pin stripe butt plug, I positively refuse to use it after you without a proper sterilization, so that's out to.

No collar, no lashes.
You plan falls to ashes.

Sorry, I mistook you for someone else.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Sorry, I mistook you for someone else.

That actually makes me feel better.
Thanks

 

[La damnee elle la licorne]

 

[barefootgirl69]

I am reminded that some family friends of my family did hear me calling G by my 'honourific' for him. They thought it was very cute and coo'd over it. I think that Their generation and culture made it seem more natural to them I might offer him a titular role of 'superiority' and 'guidance'.

In American culture, they probably would have been scandalized! I remember talking to my mother about submitting to my (then) husband in a Biblical sense, with honour and reverance, taking the lead in our home... it didn't go over well!

 

[Farawyn]

In American culture, they probably would have been scandalized! I remember talking to my mother about submitting to my (then) husband in a Biblical sense, with honour and reverance, taking the lead in our home... it didn't go over well!

This is true.
A family member close to my age told me she was going to quit her job so she can take care of her husband, just as I was graduating nursing school.
I was flabbergasted, and as a 20ish year old, offended on behalf of all women.

Until I realized, it's none of my business what 2 people do to be happy.
God knows I haven't figured it out.

 

[barefootgirl69]

This is true.
A family member close to my age told me she was going to quit her job so she can take care of her husband, just as I was graduating nursing school.
I was flabbergasted, and as a 20ish year old, offended on behalf of all women.

Until I realized, it'snone of my business what 2 people do to be happy.
God knows I haven't figured it out.

I'm usually happier when I realize that, too!

 

[Farawyn]

I'm usually happier when I realize that, too!

And all these years later, she is still happy.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Where is yank?!

I had a really crappy day last week and could have used a spanking.

I hope his ears are burning.

 

[Emerson40]

Hope this week is going better for you Wild_Honey.

 

[Wild_Honey_66]

Pretty much.


Hope this week is going better for you Wild_Honey.

Today has been better, thank you Em!