Life Is Beautiful

I was reminded of joy
In life's simple moments
As I observed a child hold
a frosted doughnut
She grinned so huge
Before a indulgent drag
of her finger through the icing
Then oh so slowly raises
it up, to sink her teeth in
All the while still a beautiful smile
as if she held treasure in her hand
 
I was reminded of joy
In life's simple moments
As I observed a child hold
a frosted doughnut
She grinned so huge
Before a indulgent drag
of her finger through the icing
Then oh so slowly raises
it up, to sink her teeth in
All the while still a beautiful smile
as if she held treasure in her hand
an observation,
what did you drop? what did you do?
anyway, progress is seen, kudos

reconsider:
All the while still a beautiful smile

beautiful is leading, probably not needed, see poetry is a real pain in the ass
 
beautiful is leading, probably not needed, see poetry is a real pain in the ass[/QUOTE]

Really good eye. Spot on.
I don't think i'da caught that.
 
I was reminded of joy
In life's simple moments
As I observed a child hold
a frosted doughnut
She grinned so huge
Before a indulgent drag
of her finger through the icing
Then oh so slowly raises
it up, to sink her teeth in
All the while still a beautiful smile
as if she held treasure in her hand

I think you could drop the whole line that 1201 mentioned. Personally, I would also change treasure to gold. Double visual.

Really sweet poem. My little one loves the strawberry frosted, with sprinkles. She licks off all the frosting before eating the donut. :)
 
I think you could drop the whole line that 1201 mentioned. Personally, I would also change treasure to gold. Double visual.

Really sweet poem. My little one loves the strawberry frosted, with sprinkles. She licks off all the frosting before eating the donut. :)

I disagree about removing the line, it sounds nice, reinforcing the sybil coming from above.

Then oh so slowly raises
it up, to sink her teeth
All the while still a smile
as if she held gold in her hand

probably means the knots in the pine were de-fir red
that hollow sound could be an echo or just deja voodoodoodooo

Or both.
 
Donut, oh donut
how lovely thine are
how neat
with your covering
of rainbow
sprinkled pink
Your color is my
favorite
your flavor,
oh so sweet
Donut, oh donut
it's you I love
to eat


The concentration employed
is complete
No outside force
can compete
with the pink, rainbow
covered treat
She won't stop licking
until it's no longer sweet


Matryoshka, my little one is too serious about her donuts to smile, lol
 
That's a beautiful telling.
Reminds me of my own youth.
Her name was audrey,
The car a 69 nova
They both were fast
Full of life
Full of laughter
I never could keep up
But whenever i see a baby blue
69 nova
I smile, wishing i had
 
Ricky's '63 Chevy

I wanted a VW Bug
But they only had a manual
So Ricky took me out
In his beloved '63 Chevy pickup

He took me out to the local trucking school
Just after dark he put it in neutral
Had me slide on over and grip the stick
Then he drove us once around, to give me the feel

He stopped and put her in park
You ready to give her a try
For all that we'd tried already
I knew this would be even sweeter

She was powder blue and putty grey
With a cracked vinyl bench seat
That I had to sit on the very edge of
To reach the pedals and clutch

I slid over him and got into position
He laughed as I hugged the steering wheel
Put his hand on the small of my back to stop me sliding
I took a deep breath and rocked her down into neutral

I felt a rush and a flutter of anticipation
Similar to that moment before our first kiss
He gave me a smile and nodded to the floorboard
Clutch

I let out my breath as I eased the clutch down
And shifted into first gear
The lurch when I released the brake made my heart race
The same as his hand on my ass

Off we went. Once, twice, three times around
Concentrating on the blacktop and light poles
I began to get the feel for her, such a sweet and easy ride
I relaxed and smiled over at Ricky

Giver some gas, time to go faster
I pushed the pedal closer to the floor
Now wait for it, she'll tell you when to shift
I shook my head, thought I was going to screw it up

Then I felt it. The gentle vibration and subtle thrumming
As I pushed down the clutch and smoothly slid her into second
The surge I felt was like the kisses Ricky liked to trail
Down my neck to my collar bone

A laugh bubbled up in me as I got a taste for speed
I told you you'd feel it. And a wicked grin
Hopeful and fearful I asked, Faster?
As much as you can handle

That night I took to Ricky as enthusiastically
As I had his '63 Chevy
On the stairs, over the sofa, on the table
Sweetest of all, in the long hot shower

Ricky and that Chevy were a soft light
That helped coax me from a very dark place
His beautiful young face and beloved truck are still
A beacon that has the power to ease my dark heart

I never did get that VW Bug
And I was never again able
To drive a stick without
Grinding the clutch

Twenty-five years later though
Every time I see an old Chevy pickup
A nostalgic smile crosses my face
And I long to be behind the steering wheel

Nice.
 
Ok, like you a little more now :D. Love love love Damien's voice. How about Ray LaMontagne, Empty, Trouble, Shelter and oh yum Let It Be Me. Now there's music to inspire erotica ;)

Edit: oh and Ray is one of the few guys who I actually like facial hair on.

Okay, I'm usually just a lurker here, but this brought me out of hiding. First, you post an Amos Lee song, and now this? Ray LaMontagne is an amazing singer/songwriter, and the man is just absolutely beautiful to look at. Have you seen him in his cop sunglasses? *swoons*

"Shelter" is my absolute favorite. "A Falling Through" too.

Oh, how could I forget? "Forever My Friend"?

Love reading your magic with words, as well, Ms. Trix. You're very talented. :)

I wish I had the poetry to add to this thread, but sadly, I am only a poetry lover, not writer.
 
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Okay, I'm usually just a lurker here, but this brought me out of hiding. First, you post an Amos Lee song, and now this? Ray LaMontagne is an amazing singer/songwriter, and the man is just absolutely beautiful to look at. Have you seen him in his cop sunglasses? *swoons*

"Shelter" is my absolute favorite. "A Falling Through" too.

Love reading your magic with words, as well, Ms. Trix. You're very talented. :)

Well thank you for coming out of the shadows to say hello. And if you like the other boys, give Joe Purdy a listen. Start with I'm Not What You Need from Sessions from Motor Ave.

Also, I'm glad you're enjoying my writing. It's always nice to get positive feedback, thank you for taking the time.
 
Well thank you for coming out of the shadows to say hello. And if you like the other boys, give Joe Purdy a listen. Start with I'm Not What You Need from Sessions from Motor Ave.

Thank you for the recommendation! I will check him out now.

Also, I'm glad you're enjoying my writing. It's always nice to get positive feedback, thank you for taking the time.

You're most welcome, lady. Thank you for the warm welcome. :rose:
 
Life IS beautiful.

Ultimately pointless, futile, amazing, unlikely and startling.

Actually life isn't beautiful. It's only beautiful to those who can define beauty, and since the notion of beauty is as individual as a fingerprint... well.. OK I'll go away and think about this..
 
Life IS beautiful.

Ultimately pointless, futile, amazing, unlikely and startling.

Actually life isn't beautiful. It's only beautiful to those who can define beauty, and since the notion of beauty is as individual as a fingerprint... well.. OK I'll go away and think about this..

This made me laugh.

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Therefore it can be found any and everywhere as long as you're alive to see it...
 
Well thank you for coming out of the shadows to say hello. And if you like the other boys, give Joe Purdy a listen. Start with I'm Not What You Need from Sessions from Motor Ave.

Also, I'm glad you're enjoying my writing. It's always nice to get positive feedback, thank you for taking the time.

I remember the 1st time i heard j purdy. An episode of "Lost" yrs ago. I think the song was "wash away"
I said, holy hell!!
Good stuff
Joseph arthur, too. Alexi murdoch is also great.
And thank you all4love, for your kind visit to baker street.
 
And thank you all4love, for your kind visit to baker street.
.
Of course, P-poet. I'm in awe, really, on how the words just pour out of you.

When I first start reading your stuff, I'm like... :eek:

Then, I'm like... :)

By the time I get to the end, though, I'm like... :cool:

But, on some days, without line breaks, I'm also like... :confused:

It's all good... :D

(Just being totally silly with you) :heart:
 
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